Preschool DAZE
It is Ava's first day of preschool. Ava's in preschool. AVA STARTED SCHOOL. I am staring at my computer, not really sure how I feel. I went through the sentimental emotions on Sunday. My darling little girl, who is not so little, came scampering into the kitchen to give her daddy a hug. She jumped into his arms and he enveloped her in a bear hug. I was struck by how long she is. Those legs go on forever. She is growing up. She is a child, and she used to be my baby. John was telling her how big she was getting, and how he couldn't believe she was starting school this week. He caught my eye, and from behind my coffee mug, they were welling up with tears. "Uh-oh, mom's getting setimental..." Well, just let me say this...I deserve to be sentimental. I claim this right as a mother. I carried that child in my body for 38 and a half weeks. I felt the pain of giving her life in this world, and so now I can feel the pain of giving more of her to this world.
And that right there, is what it's all about. You raise these children, to give to the world, knowing that the world will be a better place with them in it. Because ultimately, she is God's child, and He has a purpose for her beyond what I can see.
But letting go is not easy. I take such care with my guarded girl. I have watched her progress. I have seen that little babe, who would not get off my lap for almost 2 years during playgroups, finally, timidly, join the fun. I see what courage it takes her to walk into swim lessons, or dance every week and do something that is outside of her comfort zone. Will the rest of the world take such care with my daughter? I am sure not. And that is what I am mourning most. The loss of innocence that is sure to follow as I give more of her up to the world. I know that this is part of life, I understand that it has to happen. I just think it happens too fast these days.
I am so thankful that God gave me this little girl for safe-keeping. And I can only hope, as she takes baby steps into this world, that John and I will be her safe place to fall. The place where there are no judgements or expectations, just unconditional love. Because she will always be our little girl.
And that right there, is what it's all about. You raise these children, to give to the world, knowing that the world will be a better place with them in it. Because ultimately, she is God's child, and He has a purpose for her beyond what I can see.
But letting go is not easy. I take such care with my guarded girl. I have watched her progress. I have seen that little babe, who would not get off my lap for almost 2 years during playgroups, finally, timidly, join the fun. I see what courage it takes her to walk into swim lessons, or dance every week and do something that is outside of her comfort zone. Will the rest of the world take such care with my daughter? I am sure not. And that is what I am mourning most. The loss of innocence that is sure to follow as I give more of her up to the world. I know that this is part of life, I understand that it has to happen. I just think it happens too fast these days.
I am so thankful that God gave me this little girl for safe-keeping. And I can only hope, as she takes baby steps into this world, that John and I will be her safe place to fall. The place where there are no judgements or expectations, just unconditional love. Because she will always be our little girl.
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